Good Days, Bad Days

The oncologist told Mom this week that she will have a mix of good days and bad days. The day she saw the doctor, it was a bad day. She was vomiting constantly. Mom wanted to cancel the appointment, but when the nurses heard she was vomiting, they asked her to come in anyways. They found her a bed, gave her an iv, and checked her over for a bowel obstruction. Nothing major to worry about at this time. The doctor said Mom's gut is full of cancer, and things just don't work very well anymore. And he said she doesn't need to try to come in to London again, as the trip is too long and tiring. They will coordinate her care with her doctor in Exeter.

Mom is weakening, which is hard to see. She says, "I used to have such a good body." Mom and Dad always went for nice walks, but now we take her to the mailbox in the wheelchair. It's hard to adjust to this. I said to her the other day, "Well, hopefully tomorrow you'll feel stronger." But Mom said, "I'm afraid that isn't the way it is going." And she is right - the doctor said she won't be regaining the strength she is losing. I have to find new ways to comfort. We are used to saying to a sick person some variation of  "Tomorrow you will feel better." But that doesn't quite work for a person whose body is slowly shutting down.

Though I have seen other cancer patients go into the slow wasting phase at the end of their disease, to be honest, I didn't expect this with Mom. In May, when Mom went into the hospital, it appeared that a bowel obstruction would be her "exit." A bowel obstruction is a crisis. Everyone expected that the bowel obstruction would come back, as they usually flip between partial and total. Then Mom came home from the hospital, and we had some wonderful family time together. But now she is weakening. The catheter has been a good improvement on Mom's quality of life, but when they drain her abdomen to make her more comfortable, they are also taking nutrients away from her body (the ascites is rich in protein and other nutrients). So her muscles are getting weaker. Her feet and legs have also started to swell recently. It is an adjustment to get used to this new phase.

To be honest, I kind of expected Mom to go out in a blaze of glory, not slowly dwindle away with many sick and uncomfortable days. Kind of like Elijah in the Bible, who didn't die but got taken up to heaven in a blazing chariot. We've had days when Mom and I have cried on Skype together because it is a bad day and it just seems so difficult. On those days, we long for Jesus to take her to heaven. I now understand the spiritual "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot." (Swing Low, Sweet chariot, Coming for to carry me home...). It's a prayer, and a plea. Does Mom have to go through months of suffering, or can Jesus just send his chariot to carry her home?

I was talking about this with Mom the other day, and Mom reminded me of the verse in Jeremiah 29:  "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope." And she said that if God is choosing to keep her here, that He must still have plans for her to fulfill before she is done her earthly journey. And she rests her hope in that.

But though we have some bad days, we also have good days. On a good day, Mom enjoys watching the birds and her flowers. And she even managed to have a really fun day this week! Mom went to an anniversary celebration from several friends, Jake & Alice Bosch and Marg & Kees Vandaalen. They were all married the same year. On the menu was salad (with other food), which Mom can't have, so she invited Aunt Jean to come along as her "Salad Eater." Then, because it was the 41st anniversary, and Paper is for the first anniversary, they decided to make a paper bag for Aunt Jean's head, labeling her as the official "Salad Eater." They neglected to put holes in the bag, so they had to lead Aunt Jean in. Anyways, they had a lot of fun with that. That was a good day! They laughed so much and had fun together with their crazy antics. I'll put some photos of that below, and also of Mom enjoying her flowers.

Mom is resting more, and has more appointments at home with the nurse, so if you wish to visit, please call ahead. We appreciate your prayers through this time of tough days and also good days. Thank you,
Jeanette 

The paper anniversary gift bag, for Aunt Jean. 
Aunt Wilma made this (yes, she is talented!)

Fitting Aunt Jean.

They forgot to add eye-holes so they had to lead her around.

Mom and her flowers.

New Catheter

Mom is getting used to her new catheter. It isn't in the most convenient place (right at her waist line) so she is having to figure out how to wear clothes around it. Nausea continues to be a problem for Mom.

I was talking to Mom on Skype a few days ago, and Dad came on, triumphantly informing me that he has something most men do not have - the ability to have a thinner wife anytime he wants. "All I have to do is open her drain," he told me, "and I get a thinner wife." Ha ha, Dad!

That reminded me of the time about 25 years ago when Mom and Dad decided to lose weight together. Dad is usually very competitive, and since men lose weight far easier than women, after some discussion they decided that this would be a different kind of contest, where they encourage each other instead of race to the finish line. So they did the big weigh-in, and all that week, Dad was losing weight like crazy, and Mom wasn't losing much at all. She was getting pretty frustrated. Later Dad confessed that before his first weigh-in, he had drank as much water as he could, making himself much heavier. No wonder he was losing weight so fast!

With the new catheter, the ascites can be drained at home (saving Mom a trip to the hospital) and it can also be drained more frequently. That should make Mom more comfortable. The fluid weighs a little over 2 pounds per liter, so I think Mom could beat Dad in a weight-loss contest now. :)

You can pray that the incision site heals up ok, that Mom gets used to the mechanics of the catheter, and that Mom's nausea goes away. She also feels quite weak. As always, thank you for your prayers!

Below is a video of one of Mom's favourite worship songs, and some photos.

Home again

Mom came home yesterday afternoon and had a good night. Dad said she is comfortable. Pray that the incision site heals up well.

Procedure done

Mom had a drain put into her abdomen this morning. It was not a pleasant procedure but it went well. Mom is in recovery right now and is booked to stay overnight. Pray that Mom recovers ok from this and has a good night.
Thanks, Jeanette

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Dad goes to have his wisdom tooth pulled tomorrow, so don't ask him any deep questions after that.

Mom had another paracentesis (draining of fluid) today in Exeter Hospital. They removed three liters of fluid.   They were hesitant to remove more because Mom is scheduled to have a permanent drain put in on Monday morning. We aren't sure if this is the best option, so we covet your prayers in this decision making process. Mom is very tired and is not feeling well. Thank you for your prayers.

She asked me to put one of her favourite psalms on here to share with you. Lord, be close to Mom and to each one of us.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

³ He will not let your foot slip—
    he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The Lord watches over you—
    the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

⁷ The Lord will keep you from all harm —
    he will watch over your life;
⁸ the Lord will watch over your coming and going
    both now and forevermore.

Today I went to Mom's house to even out the caregiver to patient ratio. Aunt Wilma says we are only allowed one patient per house, and Dad has been battling more tooth problems. He was actually ok today (cutting the lawn when I got there) but spent Saturday in bed. He has an infection in his mouth that needs to be cleared up by Friday, when he will have a wisdom tooth removed. Dad says if he continues losing teeth at this rate, he will be out of teeth by his birthday. He's had four out already and three cavities filled, and complications several times. So pray that he will soon feel better.

Mom hasn't been well this week. She is very tired and lacking energy. Her stomach is uncomfortably full again. She is going to try to wait for Thursday for another paracentesis (draining of fluid) but is prepared to go to London if she needs it earlier. These aren't easy days for Mom. She feels nauseous a lot and it is a struggle to keep her gut working. Pray for strength and encouragement for Mom.

Mom wishes she could write something, but wants to say, "Thank you" to everyone for all their prayers and support. It means so much. Today we opened an exciting package in the mail - the photo book we made. In it we put photos from Mom's birthday parties and the blessings we've had over the last several months. It is amazing to look back and see the many answers to prayer - a great birthday, being together with ALL our family, family photos, and much time together. We are very grateful.

It is a great thing to remember and know what God has done for us. But looking ahead to the future isn't as easy. It's hard to imagine what will happen in the days to come, or how we will get through it. Mom can so quickly feel much worse, as the bowel obstruction acts up. I struggle to tame my anxiety at times. But our God who has been with us in the past will also be with us in the days to come. Thank you for your prayers.

Yay for good doctors!

Mom wasn't well overnight. She was very uncomfortable, with a lot of pain and this morning she started vomiting. Typical symptoms for a bowel obstruction. So the nurse came this morning and checked Mom over. She recommended Mom go into Exeter hospital. I happened to be coming here this morning, so I went with Mom, along with Aunt Wilma and Dad (yes, Mom has an entourage).

The staff at the hospital took very good care of Mom. They right away got a bed for Mom. She had an xray, which showed a partial bowel obstruction. Mom's stomach was very distended, and we felt she needed another draining of the fluid (paracentesis). Thankfully, an oncologist from London was on call at the hospital, and he was able to do this right away, without a long bumpy trip to London. With a minimum of discomfort, he took 4.3 liters of fluid out of her abdomen. Mom is feeling a lot better now. We also found out that this doctor is in every Thursday, so that gives Mom some security to know she can see this doctor locally, without always going to London.

At first we thought Mom would have to stay overnight in the hospital, but the doctor said Mom was fine to go home. He adjusted some of Mom's meds, but let her come home this afternoon. Mom has a hospital bed at home now to keep her comfortable at night. When her tummy is full of fluid, it is a little harder to breathe, so the hospital bed elevates her head and helps her sleep better.

So we're thankful for great care at the hospital. Mom is tired now but we are hoping she will have a better night tonight. Thanks for your ongoing prayers.

Below are some pictures of Mom's sisters canning beans last week. I had called that day to say hi but it was too noisy to actually talk to Mom. Those sisters of hers are noisy with their giggling and cackling. :) I do have great aunts. They canned lots of beans that day, which Mom can eat.