Yay for good doctors!

Mom wasn't well overnight. She was very uncomfortable, with a lot of pain and this morning she started vomiting. Typical symptoms for a bowel obstruction. So the nurse came this morning and checked Mom over. She recommended Mom go into Exeter hospital. I happened to be coming here this morning, so I went with Mom, along with Aunt Wilma and Dad (yes, Mom has an entourage).

The staff at the hospital took very good care of Mom. They right away got a bed for Mom. She had an xray, which showed a partial bowel obstruction. Mom's stomach was very distended, and we felt she needed another draining of the fluid (paracentesis). Thankfully, an oncologist from London was on call at the hospital, and he was able to do this right away, without a long bumpy trip to London. With a minimum of discomfort, he took 4.3 liters of fluid out of her abdomen. Mom is feeling a lot better now. We also found out that this doctor is in every Thursday, so that gives Mom some security to know she can see this doctor locally, without always going to London.

At first we thought Mom would have to stay overnight in the hospital, but the doctor said Mom was fine to go home. He adjusted some of Mom's meds, but let her come home this afternoon. Mom has a hospital bed at home now to keep her comfortable at night. When her tummy is full of fluid, it is a little harder to breathe, so the hospital bed elevates her head and helps her sleep better.

So we're thankful for great care at the hospital. Mom is tired now but we are hoping she will have a better night tonight. Thanks for your ongoing prayers.

Below are some pictures of Mom's sisters canning beans last week. I had called that day to say hi but it was too noisy to actually talk to Mom. Those sisters of hers are noisy with their giggling and cackling. :) I do have great aunts. They canned lots of beans that day, which Mom can eat.

A Draining Day

Mom had a draining day today - quite literally! Her tummy has grown large with ascites, the fluid from cancer. She had an uncomfortable night last night and ended up sleeping in her chair. So this morning she called the cancer clinic in London, and they called her back shortly and said, "Come right in!" Thankfully Mom was mostly ready to go, and Dad had stayed around waiting for the call.

By this afternoon,  the doctor had drained about 3 liters of fluid from her abdomen. The staff take an ultrasound of her abdomen to determine the spot to drain. The doctor then applies some freezing before inserting a needle in the right spot. They were pleased to get that amount of fluid. Last time Mom went to get drained, the fluid shifted between the ultrasound and the needle insertion, so they weren't able to drain much. We are thankful they were able to drain so much fluid today - it should relieve the pressure in her abdomen. One of the first times Mom had this procedure done a year or so ago, Dad asked her how she felt as they were driving home. She said, "I feel drained" and they burst out laughing. Mom's tired tonight, but hopefully she will soon feel much better.

Mom and Dad have been enjoying sitting outside in the evenings (the photo below was taken at family camping by Darlene of Jakal photography, but that's about how they look at home too!) One evening, they saw a bluebird, which is still quite rare in this area. Of course, Mom got a photo of it!

The bluebird

The view Mom and Dad have of their garden at home.

Mom loves taking photos of her birds and flowers. Recently, I made a photo book for Mom of the last several months. As I sorted through files of photos from different dates, the thing that made me laugh was that every single file has photos of flowers and birds in it. Doesn't matter if it's "Cohen's birthday" or "Bird Show." There are just flowers in every file! I like that about Mom. Here are some photos she took:

A grosbeak

A wren (rare!)

Mom even took this photo! Just kidding. I'm guessing Aunt Wilma did. Mom's Big Red hibiscus is blooming right now. Every year we take photos with it because the blossoms are about the size of a person's head.

Thanks for your ongoing prayers through this season!

Ups and Downs

Well, it's amazing how things can flip flop so suddenly.

Last week we were basking in the good news from the doctor. Mom is stable and all is well.

Then, the nurse called with the results from the CA125 (the ovarian cancer marker). It had doubled in the last three weeks from 500 to over 1000. Not good. It means the disease is progressing. And Mom is noticing it - she is having more symptoms and more pain. Some of it seems to be a side effect from the antibiotic and some from the cancer - who knows. In the mean time, Mom and Dad were given some options to ponder - one route is chemo and the other is drugs that help control the symptoms.

The chemo options (three different kinds) all have significant side effects, like nausea, tiredness, diarrhea, and hair loss. Chemo is a good option when there is a chance of chasing back the disease. But it seems like too many side effects for too little gain. Chemo would mean times of illness, when Mom is already not feeling well, with little hope of results. So Mom and Dad made the difficult decision to say no to any more chemo.  As a result, they are transitioning into working more with the palliative care team at the hospital instead of the clinical trials team. This means getting used to who to call when for what medical issues. Pray for peace and wisdom for Mom and Dad as they maneuver this transition.  

I was thinking about this on my way home today after visiting, and I was thinking how it's just plain scary.  We don't know what lies ahead. We don't know the timing of anything, and we don't know what Mom's body is going to do. How much worse will it get? Will Mom be able to handle it? Will we be able to love and support her as she needs? I don't want to see Mom get more sick or have pain. 

Today Mom, Aunt Wilma and I were working on a photo album of the last several months. When Mom went into the hospital on May 2, it didn't look good. Mom asked the Lord for her birthday (65!) and to spend time altogether as a family. We had an amazing party for Mom and we enjoyed several weeks with Harmony and her family. Mom got to meet her youngest grandchild. We took great family photos with all of us together. God has been so faithful. Everything Mom asked for - and more - was given!


And as I drove home, worries swirling, I remembered that the Bible says that Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I realized that though we have fears for tomorrow, if I look back to yesterday, I see a photo album full of pictures showing the goodness of God. And the same loving God who was with us at Mom's wonderful birthday will also be with us as she gets more sick. He doesn't change. 


So I'm curious to see what this will look like in the days to come. I'd like to say I have faith that God will be with us through everything that lies ahead. I do believe that, but Lord, help me in my unbelief. You can pray that we as a family are aware of God with us every step of the way. Especially Mom and Dad.
Jeanette

Quiet times

Well, the parties are all done and the company's gone home. It has been a quiet time lately.

Harmony and Marco returned to New Zealand last Thursday (June 28). Harmony and Kelsey were throwing up the night before, but after the first flight they felt a bit better, though weak. After 37 hours of travelling, they arrived home! Though they are far from Canada, we can still skype with them. It certainly wasn't like that in the old days when Grandma and Grandpa first came to Canada in 1953. Then the minister prayed for them in church on Sunday, and they said goodbye to their family, not expecting to see them again. Though we miss Harmony and her family, we can skype them and talk face to face on our computers. It's not the same as being with them, but we are pretty blessed.

Mom got a cold on the Father's Day weekend, and has been fighting it since then. She has been coughing a lot, and the doctor has given her puffers and cough medicine. The coughing has left her tired, and she hasn't been up to doing much, mostly staying inside and resting.

Yesterday, I went to visit with my girls. It is summer holidays now, so we started out with a baking project the night before. I want to teach my girls some baking skills (whether they want to or not!). Marika made banana chocolate chip muffins ("Are you proud of me, Mom?") and Natalie and I tackled a lemon loaf, made with a yeast dough. We finished the lemon loaf and baked it at Mom's so we could eat it hot and fresh.

         

When we arrived yesterday, we first had coffee with banana muffins (thanks Marika!). Then Dad took the girls for a ride in the trailer behind the four-wheeler. Some whispering went on in the kitchen and then they were off. I just asked for no broken limbs. Well, anyone who knows my dad knows that he doesn't do anything half way. And life is always an adventure with him. They came back just before lunch and he sheepishly told us to come on the back deck. There were my girls, covered in clumps of thick sticky clay from head to toe. They had mud in their hair, on their faces, on their arms, legs, and their clothes were filthy. He'd taken them to the broccoli field nearby (how can he stay away from his farm!). They got an inch of rain that morning, and there happened to be some significant mud puddles, which he happened to drive through.

The dirt didn't show up too well on the photo, but it's there!       

After Dad hosed them off, the girls had showers and they put on bathing suits while we washed their clothes. Grandpa took them to the beach while their clothes were washed. And they learned that everything is an adventure with Grandpa. 

While Grandpa did that, Mom and I and Aunt Wilma worked on ordering photos from our photo shoot. Mom is eager to get the new family photos up on the wall. They were beautiful photos. We are thankful for Darlene from Jakal Photography who did the photos for Smiling Eyes. You can see Darlene's blog post about it here. Thank you so much, Darlene.

Mom went to the doctor today (her oncologist in London). He was very surprised at how well Mom is doing! She is very stable right now, being very careful what she eats to avoid bowel obstruction. He made a slight adjustment in her medications, but basically, all is stable. Her CA125 even came down three weeks ago from the time before! We don't know today's result yet, but the doctor was pleased. He approved a new antibiotic for Mom as her sinuses now seem to be infected with this cold. She is very tired and has been resting lots. But we are pleased. Mom has another appointment with the doctor in 4 weeks.

It is difficult facing the uncertainty sometimes. A friend at church just lost her mother, only five weeks after her cancer diagnosis. She barely had time to prepare for her final journey home. Yet we as a family have had lots of time to process Mom's illness and to cherish her. I was thinking about how death is so different for each person. None of us knows when we will die. For some of us, it comes suddenly and without warning. Others have more of an inkling how or when they will die. Yet for each of us, we should be prepared for our final journey home, whenever or however it may come. How do you prepare for death? You keep short accounts, and cherish your loved ones. Live each day to the full. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and strength. Do what matters.

Speaking of cherishing life, when we came home last night from Mom's, my hubbie had supper ready. I left a little late and traffic was heavy, and so it was 6:30 before we walked in the door. Paul surprised us with a beautiful candlelit supper. It's the little things like this that make all the difference. We know that the prayers and many gifts people have given Mom have made a world of difference, and we are thankful. Thanks for your support and your love.

Who can pass up Whopper Wednesday? The candles made me laugh and it was fun.

A squirrel at Mom's feeder. Hanging on!

Family photos

We got together this past weekend (Father's Day weekend) for camping at Peter and Sandra's property by St. Marys. A major part of the get together was a family photo shoot with Smiling Eyes, a charity that does photo shoots with families dealing with cancer. Darlene from Jakal Photography came bright and early Saturday morning and took photos of our family - an intimidating group of 27 people! I can't post all the photos on here as not everyone wants their family on a blog like this, but I can show you some! It all went very well, and we are very thankful for the gift of this photography session. The photos here are not from Darlene, but from other cameras that were around at the time.

Mom was not feeling well, but she managed to put on a smile for photos. Dad and Mom unfortunately got colds and have been very congested with those. In spite of that, we had a good time.

After having a rib extravaganza on Saturday evening, we had a church service with all the kids. Mom and Dad had found a book that was about who God is, and the author quoted 15 Bible verses. Mom and Dad have 15 grandchildren (including Baby Bump, not yet born), so they thought it was perfect. Each of the grandchildren (or their parents) read a verse in the story. Then we sang some hymns together. Mom read this poem to us:

The Elephant In The Room

By Terry Kettering

There’s and elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with “How are you?” and “I’m fine…
And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.
We talk about the weather.
We talk about work.
We talk about everything else…
Except the elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all.
But we do not talk about the elephant in the room.
Oh, please, say her name.
Oh, please, say “[her name]” again.
Oh, please, let’s talk about the elephant in the room.
For if we talk about her death,
Perhaps we can talk about her life.
Can I say “[her name]” to you and not have you look away:
For if I cannot,
then you are leaving me alone…
in a room…
with an elephant.

But mostly, this was a weekend to focus on having fun and being together. We rented a bouncy castle for the kids, and they wore themselves out with their jumping.

Here are some photos from our weekend:

Bouncy castle - the kids jumped and jumped. 

The De Boers

The Janssens

The Duncans - yes, we're still missing a few families here. We also did a  large photo with all 27 of us. And some shots with just the grandkids and Grandma and Grandpa, and just the siblings with Mom and Dad. 

Then, photos with Grandma. We were doing fine until Natalie went to have a photo with Grandma.
She got a little emotional.  Brave girl, she kept smiling even while her eyes filled with tears.
The Kleenex came out then.

Harmony took this photo because Morgan looked so cute crying.
We didn't stop to find out what was wrong. Probably a boo boo!

Grandma can fix it!

Remember the flowered dresses of the early 90's? We were remembering family photos where everyone wore a different flowered dress. So Sandra came out with an old bridesmade dress! Pretend the rest of us are also wearing Laura Ashley dresses! We had a good laugh about that. You can't see the HUGE bow on the back of Sandra's dress. Your loss.

The kids painted stones that afternoon. When Mom was in the hospital, there was a healing garden outside the hospital where people could paint stones with the names of their loved ones. 

The kids presented their stones to Grandma - now she can have her own healing garden at home.

Ribs for supper! Yumm

The grown ups got to sit at a table.

Our church service

Campfire at night - we never do anything small - this is a 300 lb tree in the fire pit.

Family Times

It is a bittersweet season for our family. On one hand, we are all together. Often. Having one family live so far away in New Zealand, this is not something we take for granted. Of course, knowing that Mom's time is growing shorter with us makes it all very special. For me, it feels like dusk, that part of the day when late afternoon intersects with evening as the day draws to a close, and the light grows more golden, suffusing everything with a golden glow.

Because Mom is doing so well right now, it is joyful to have her with us and to be all together, even though I have moments when I remember that she will leave us and I am sad.  Mom's gut is working really well right now. The steroids are quite helpful, though they have the side effect of causing a bit of puffiness in Mom's face, which Mom has pointed out has erased her wrinkles. However, Mom has noticed the ascites coming back, the fluid in her abdomen produced by cancer, so we can't quite forget the cancer's there. And she's quite tired at times. In spite of that, she is doing really well, and we are having wonderful times as a family. I feel blessed. The verses from Lamentations 3: 19-26 seem very descriptive of this season:

I remember my affliction and my wandering,

the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them, 

and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love

we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him."

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him

to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord.

God seems close to us, and every day is filled with new mercies and new blessings. We have joy in these days. Here are some pictures from the last few weeks:

On Saturday, May 26, many of us got together at Mom and Dad's house to
celebrate Cohen's first birthday. One of the presents he got was a drum set.

He is a natural!

Everyone had donuts (a tradition around the Visscher household for birthdays!).

Four generations.

It was cousin Wina's last day before she went back to Holland.

No visit is complete without photos with the flowers!

Or painting toenails!

Smiles with Owen

On another day, Mom and Aunt Wilma made a rhubarb pie with rhubarb from the back yard.
Mom has a running rivalry with Jake Bosch (neighbours and childhood friends) about rhubarb pie.
Will the pie be good enough for Jake? 

All smiles with Jake and Alice Bosch - must have been a good pie!

On Tuesday, June 5 we met at the Toronto Zoo. Mom and Dad, all 14 grandkids,
 and most of the kids and spouses. It's quite a caravan! 

Dad pushed Mom around all day. In a nice way!

With 14 kids, 13 adults, 5 strollers, and one wheelchair,
sometimes it was hard to end up in the same place.

It gave the grandkids time to be together and be with grandma.

Even though sometimes we got tired! 

The hippo was also tired. 

The girls pose for photos easier than the boys. For some reason, I don't think
I have any photos of the boys together!

Mom and Owen